So I hike into the smoky mountains for about 5 miles and realize the campsite is closed due to “aggressive bear activity”. I continue to the next site. A ¼ mile away. No warning sign here. So I set up camp and get naked in the creek to wash off. Without soap of course.
Chilling around camp for awhile. I’m the only fool here. There are plenty of steel cables to hoist your food for storage to keep the bears out. Well it starts pouring the rain and I hang my food for the night.
Tucked away nicely in my tent I read and dose off to awake around midnight to take a pee. Well it’s pitch dark and I’m scared of Bigfoot, so I piss in a plastic container in my tent. Did I mention it is raining the mother of all rains. Down pour all night. Like sleeping in a water bed. Floor has a small leak.
What I think is a small branch falling on my tent, which causes a slight shudder I ignore and go back to sleep.
Around 5 in the morning I get up and cook oatmeal and then hang my food back up on the steel cable. It is still raining. Jump back in the tent and get naked in my sleeping bag.
Thirty minutes later my tent shakes like someone grabbing the poles and shaking rapidly back and forth. For a split second I think a ranger is screwing with me. Then bear enters my mind. My eyes dilate and pulse quickens.
I start yelling, “go away you fucking bear”. I grab one of my hiking poles under the vestibule (Bigfoot attack pole) and unzip the front door and peer outside. Still raining. I’m naked. No bear in front of tent. I strain my neck over the top of tent in the other direction and there the bear is slowly meandering away. I jump out and continue yelling. I’m butt naked and gone into warrior mode. The bear disappears and I’m in the get dress mode.
Now I would like to say I went back to sleep and forgot about it.
But no. I got dressed and packed my shit hastily and humped it out to my truck.
The problem is people are feeding these bears in the smoky mountains. It’s a freaking tourist trap. I don’t want to worry about bears through the night or day. So I’m taking my ass elsewhere. Such as no people. No campers packing in steak and eggs on horseback.
So that is it.