How not to take a shit while traveling.

I remember in Guatemala, Central America I once had a bad case of the shits and was walking down the street about ready to have an accident in my pants. I ran into a local hostel and pleaded very quickly to use their toilet. Given the green light I ran into the toilet and dropped my pants and let one blast. It was like being born again and I sat there in the smelly room counting my blessings. When it came time to wipe my butt I discovered that there was no toilet paper to finish the job properly. My only option was to tear out some pages of my Spanish lesson book and complete business.

Once in the Philippines I discovered while sitting on the toilet that I had no toilet paper. My only option was to flush the toilet and reach my hand into the cool toilet water and proceed to scrub my butt. Exciting, huh?

Or how about the time I was walking through the steep streets of San Pedro, Guatemala and farted and to my dismay more that air came out. I was actually wearing white shorts at the time and had about a ½ mile to walk back to my room. Now I was hoping that my underwear would contain the problem, but I could feel the splurge making its way down my inner thigh.

Recently in the jungle of Puyo, Ecuador the morning that I was robbed. I went to use the jungle toilet, which consisted of a small wooden hole over a trench. Dropping my shorts I attempted to aim for the small hole and to my disgust spattered my white shorts with my excrement. So not only shamed of being foolish enough to get robbed, I also walked around in camp with feces on my shorts before I fled.
But this is part of the exciting world of travel and the wonderful culinary cuisine that makes your entrails behave differently.

May I suggest always keeping some emergency toilet paper on hand for those unexpected pit stops.