I was slapping mosquitoes off my ankles and cursing aloud. Finally giving up capturing a picture of that elusive bald eagle that fly's above in the brilliant Tennessee sky. Low and behold walking past the bird bath I spotted a yellow looking flying bug. Well, I’m always curious. So I took a close look and observed his legs were still kicking. So I picked up a green leaf and … [Read more...] about Bug Rescue
So I hike into the smoky mountains for about 5 miles and realize the campsite is closed due to “aggressive bear activity”. I continue to the next site. A ¼ mile away. No warning sign here. So I set up camp and get naked in the creek to wash off. Without soap of course. Chilling around camp for awhile. I’m the only fool here. There are plenty of steel cables to hoist your food … [Read more...] about Bear encounter butt naked.
The fighting in the trench was intense and the sexy marine next to me was doing well. I'll admit I had the hots for her, especially when she was just wearing her dirty green t-shirt braless. Now normally when us guy marines had to piss we just whipped it out and did business. But now since women had equal combat rights we had to deploy the gender combat toilet. Basically the … [Read more...] about Combat ready gender toilet.
See legend has it that whoever owns this particular bull family/breed, will die by the bull. Notice that in this bulls family one ball is bigger than the other. Which can unbalance the mind in man and the bull. In other words the bull is ornery. Never turn your back to the bull. Never! One day David came home to the family farm from a day of selling insurance. It was a shitty … [Read more...] about Fear the bull with crooked balls.
All is pleasant in peasantville You can't please everyone all the time, but if you try real hard you can piss them off. Walking down the sidewalk eating cotton candy and picking his nose he decided to get a massage. A dirty sign read “massages” on the front of a building. 4 ugly unshaven transvestites clustered in a hug huddle in the dirty entrance leading upstairs. The … [Read more...] about Antique ceramic tile.
His breath stunk of cheap beer as he opened the Toyota repair manual to preach to the dumb masses before him. Money and lots of it was the hidden goal of todays sermon. No better way than to sucker the masses with a homeless puppy and Clydesdale horse fantasy story. Hell with this story he probably could sell shit beer in a can on super-bowl Sunday. The church assistant … [Read more...] about Tooth fairy stole my wallet in the night.
She opened her eyes and was startled to see a black stallion outside her window starring at her. Vapor steam condensed the window when the stallion exhaled. She struggled to slide the window open just a tiny bit. She reached out an touched the long black mane of the stallion. The hair was sticky and clung to her fingers. Her bed was next to the bedroom window. On her knees … [Read more...] about There is no happy ending.
The flowers were shades of different colors gently swaying with the summer breeze. Birds chirped. Busy bees zigzagged in circles collecting the abundant pollen. Lots of spooky spiders spun their web in the Van Gogh sun. Giant sun flowers stretched toward the dizzy sky. She was alone, but felt love all around. She walked toward the stone spring house down the mountain. Cold … [Read more...] about Have you forgotten.
One day he woke up dizzy and sick. Sitting on the edge of the bed he lit a cigarette and sat there thinking. The room felt stuffy, even though the window was open. His ear ached from swimming everyday. Was it time to die or make another French press of coffee. Thank god he didn't have to work in the donut shop anymore. He was free, thankfully to welfare. The only thing he was … [Read more...] about Another day another rooster crow.
After awhile he just sort of ignored the bullshit of life and checked out the ass. No matter where one ended up in life. Whether it was the rich, middle or ghetto. Ass was always there to gaze upon. Seems people like modeling their ass if they have a good one. Tight leotards or Lycra clothing works well, but not with everyone. Now according to the latest paparazzi magazine … [Read more...] about Shake it don’t break it.