Mayonnaise is king in Central America and I have yet to remember every damn time I order something to ask them not to put mayo on my food. Today I’m in a bad mood and part of yesterday. Cold instant coffee and mayonnaise on my egg sandwich seems rather trivial but today it pushed all my buttons.

By the way I’m in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua near the Costa Rica border.

I arrived Saturday from Granada, which I think is a stink hole and they put mayo on my hamburger.

What was funny is on the way to San Juan del Sur the bus let us off in Rivas, Nicaragua and I split a cab with a Peace Corp guy that looked like a bum. So he is trying to be a big shot and says we can get a cab for 1 dollar each to San Juan del Sur instead of taking the bus. So I said that sounds like a pretty good deal rather than waiting for the bus. So we jump in the cab and the plan starts going sour. The cabbie decides we are not going until we get another two people or it is going to cost us 4 dollars. So the Peace Corp guy gets all huffy and jumps out of the cab after we decide to just take the bus. I jump out of the cab and go to retrieve my pack and the cabbie won’t open the trunk of his cab.

I start getting irate and threaten to put my boot through his cab side window and the Peace Corp guy panics thinking it might be a big deal and he could get fired. Suddenly the Peace Corps guy decides 4 dollars is a good deal and we should take the cab after all. So I chill and we take the cab and get to our destination and we pay the extra money, but of course we stop and pick up passengers on the way even though we paid for 4 people.

Every cab ride is a lesson in the “art of the hustle.” Just when I think I’ve graduated and prepared for the hustle they write a new playbook and go deep. Like a blind defensive end I run into the goal post and they score.